Thomas Fuller says, "Good clothes open all doors." Some weeks ago, I wrote an article on " MI O LÈ FÉ ÀÁFÀ - I CAN'T MARRY AN ALFA." The article generated a lot of interesting comments from our single sisters and brothers plus married brothers and sisters. Their discussion will be the subject of this article, of which in my opinion, serves as a follow up to the earlier one.
The two major submissions of those single sisters (to be specific) who commented centred on ROMANCE and DRESSING. Some said alfas are not romantic while some said aalfas don't dress 'well.' These are fallacies you say? Hasty generalisation, to be specific right?
My àyóngé sister, how will you know how romantic a brother will be when you are still a single singing bird, under the canopy and watchful eyes of your 'paleh' and 'maleh?' Or how do you even define romance ? How will you measure the rate of romance of a brother since you are yet to legally marry him, let alone have delighted, but energy-burning punches with him? Or are you judging him from afar? However, if you are married and your 'alfa' is not romantic, tell him to read more or learn more about how romantic Prophet Muhammad was to his wives. Has he forgotten that 'Aaisha and Prophet Muhammad did race together? Has he forgotten that they did bathe together? Has he forgotten that both of them did play together in their house? If an alfa understands these, don't you call that romance? I tell you, an alfa that does these is ROMANTIC! Romance is not about the countless punches that single 'brother or tutorial co-ordinator' has boxed you, freely. ROMANCE is about having time for one's wife and children whenever they need one. It's about surprising one's wife or wives with memorable and unforgettable moments. If an alfa does these, he is ROMANTIC fa!
Yes, it's believed that you are addressed the way you dress or the way you are dressed. I couldn't hold my white set of teeth when a sister ghostly said 'alfas are not fashionable.' What defines being fashionable? Many went for being CUTE as its contextual meaning! I probed further for expatiation. Our sisters who didn't want to marry alfas said some of the alfas dress anyhow they like, put on 'clean' cloths, etc. You know what? They had a point, but the point was rendered pointless when they generalised. Generalisation in a situation like this is fallacious. Yes, some alfas might dress anyhow they like, but that doesn't dispute the fact that many of them still dress very cute, clean, moderate and excellent. Those who have beards even make their beards appealing to sight and modelling. These are the ones who understand Islaam. They are the ones who understand the teachings of the Prophet. They are the ones who care about their tidiness which is next to Godliness. They understand that looking is not really about putting on expensive wears, but it's about looking neat and presentable in whatever they have or put on.
My dear alfas! Before you marry, inculcate the habit of looking neat. After marriage, don't relent! You know our sisters love and wish to marry the alfas who understand the real Deen and whom they can be proud of presenting, not only to their friends, but also to their parents. Sirs, when you marry them, be romantic, romantic, more romantic and more romantic! We are theirs ; they are ours, let's make each other happy with those available moments in the family. These are the major ways you CAN LET THEM MARRY AN ALFA.
Sisters too, take things easy please! Happiness in marriage is neither determined by the number of cloths your man puts on, nor by the number of public romances he acts, stage manages or fakes. A happy family is determined by piety, trust, unconditional love, patience, deep knowledge, tolerance and understanding. Don't just be deceived with the surface outlook of a chameleon! I have seen husbands who wear latest cloths and shoes, but their wives and children wear rags or semi-rags. Does this make these wives happy or sad? Just think about this! In a nutshell, the best man a sister can marry is A HOME BUILDER AND MAKER and this can be seen in EVERY ALFA THAT UNDERSTANDS THE TEACHINGS OF PROPHET MUHAMMAD. I am not saying it can't be found in any other person oooo ; being a capable alfa is just an edge.
I thank you reading....
(c) Olansile Ajetunmobi Umar (OAU)